[GBfan_CH]

Hi everyone,

Me again. I've given considerable thought this past month into the state of Ghostbusters as a franchise, how it's currently perceived, and how it can move forwards with more focus on story than controversy (which is all anyone really wants). After the positive feedback I received for my Lethe Theory, I've developed it into an article / narrative and provided a detailed breakdown on what's worked to date, what hasn't, and how it can be rectified.

Turns out that's not so difficult.

Check it out please and give me your thoughts. First time using Google Drive so I hope this works: A4 size link and A5 size link

Cheers all,


Chris

[Webster]

So I'm halfway through and initial reactions are: this baby has legs. Could do with some thorough proof reading (I'd offer but my dyslexia means I miss as many issues as I find), but generally very easy to read with a nice flow to it. Dialougue feels a little flat in places, but not so much that it feels unnatural. Abby and Erin both have the right tone but Holtzmann comes across as quite serious when compapred with her onscreen representation; she sort of reads more like Egon than Holtzmann but that could just be my personal interpretation.
I'd be more than happy to offer a more in depth critque if it would help, but I in no way want to step on your toes because overall this has been the best tie in material I've read so far

[Lucifan]

Just finished myself. I have to agree with Webster on the dialogue, and Holtzmann comes off heavily as more Egon Spengler than the Holtzy of ATC. Ray being the first of the 1st Gen GBs was very fitting and appropriate, and seeing him back in the Pack was very nice. I feel you did balance things in the focus well, allowing a passing of the torch while not diminishing the classic team for arbitrary reasons. The narrative could use cleanup,but overall, easily a grounded foundation for a unifying story between the two continuities. Especially in a way that doesn't claim "parallel universe".

[GBfan_CH]

Thanks guys,

You read fast!!

Grateful for feedback. I'd normally proofread a novel five / six / fifty times before I publish, but for this one time feels more time critical. After all, who knows? The extended version of the film could screw up my proposal royally. It's probably got a few inconsistencies and typos. If I expanded it into full length (about four times the word count) I'd put a lot more work into Patty and how memory loss affects her character.

Holtzmann is a difficult character to flesh out. Not sure she would suit an added dimension.

CH

[Webster]

Thanks guys,

You read fast!!

Grateful for feedback. I'd normally proofread a novel five / six / fifty times before I publish, but for this one time feels more time critical. After all, who knows? The extended version of the film could screw up my proposal royally. It's probably got a few inconsistencies and typos. If I expanded it into full length (about four times the word count) I'd put a lot more work into Patty and how memory loss affects her character.

Holtzmann is a difficult character to flesh out. Not sure she would suit an added dimension.

CH

The personality and excitement of Holtzmann is there, it's just the words themselves that seem a little jarring, although she reads much better in the second half .

EDIT: In terms of reading fast, when I find something I like I'm glued to it. If it can't grab me in the first few pages I'm done

[Raystantz Italy]

Holy hell, send this to Ghost Corps right effin` now!!!!!

[GBfan_CH]

Kind of tried. It got wedged in the front door and I think their dog ate it. That's how I interpret 'unsolicited' anyway.

I'm open to suggestions.

[Sav C]

I'm open to suggestions.

Here's an idea: what if you send Ivan Reitman an email query letter asking if he would like to read your article. He would then request to read it (causing it to become solicited material) and you could send it to him, although I would advise not sending it as an email attachment (since it could be directed to the spam folder.) Instead I would mail, fax, or even embed it in an email.

If you like the idea I can send you (what I believe to be) his current email in a private message, which I found out about from the Sony leaks.

PS I didn't read your article yet, and was wondering whether or not I need to see the reboot first for it to make sense? If not then I'd be happy to read it

[Raystantz Italy]

And you should write that he'll be free from paying rights to you

[Alphagaia]

If you like the idea I can send you (what I believe to be) his current email in a private message, which I found out about from the Sony leaks.

I'm pretty sure they all had to take new e-mail addresses after that debacle.

[Tony Bondioli]

I didn't read your article yet, and was wondering whether or not I need to see the reboot first for it to make sense? If not then I'd be happy to read it

It probably won't make a whole lot of sense if you haven't seen GB16, though if you don't mind spoilers, you may still find it interesting.

[DarkSpectre]

As underwhelmed as I was with Answer the Call, I enjoyed the hell out of this, Chris. Ghost Corp needs to see this.

[GBfan_CH]

As underwhelmed as I was with Answer the Call, I enjoyed the hell out of this, Chris. Ghost Corp needs to see this.

Hey thanks. Think it adds to ATC? Getting visibility is my next challenge. Much harder than writing it was in the first place! I'm probably one of ten thousand people with a pitch right now.

[JonXCTrack]

I'm at work so I couldn't read through it all, but my initial reaction is that this is a really great idea. It's unique and you seem to have a good sense of how the characters would behave.

[Doctor Venkman]

I haven't read the entire thing yet, just bits and pieces, but before sending it in, if you want it to be taken seriously, please make sure you have character and actor names spelled correctly... "Aykroyd" for example. It is not ACK-ROYD (emphasized because this site autocorrects the name)

I'd also remove the "final thought" about the 2 things no Ghostbusters film should ever do again. Or at the very least, reword it. That kind of comes off as childish and "I know better than you" which you have to be careful in your wording to not come off that way. A proposal shouldn't have an air of "holier than thou" which that certainly does.

[80sguy]

I haven't read the entire thing yet, just bits and pieces, but before sending it in, if you want it to be taken seriously, please make sure you have character and actor names spelled correctly... "Aykroyd" for example. It is not ACK-ROYD (emphasized because this site autocorrects the name)

No idea why, but that's seems to be a VERY common mistake. A large number of articles on GB I've read misspell his name. How hard is it to look up his name?

[lozbloke]

Just read it,. Kudos to you sir, a really well thought out, grounded treatment and great justifications at the end. A few bits I would change personally but that would be the same with any treatment

[Raystantz Italy]

I'd end the movie with Ray, Winston and maybe Peter regaining their memories and helping the new team.

[GBfan_CH]

Fixed the name misspelling (that was a big one!). Just so you know, I'm taking every suggestion you guys make and working it into the document , plus proofreading on an ad hoc basis. The link above gets updated every couple of days.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to knock on a few doors because I would genuinely like to see the franchise go in this direction. i.e. A connected universe instead of a multiverse. No luck yet, but I'll keep you posted. And any ideas / suggestions you guys have are more than welcome.

[Alphagaia]

Did not have the time to read this yet, but i'll look into it this week when I have some more time!

[Sav C]

Just read it, and thought it was really good! Nice job connecting the originals and ATC together, it felt quite natural. Two things came to mind reading it though,

first being that they discussed how crossing the streams would be bad in ATC (at least in the extended cut, where they actually did cross them,)

This Post Contains Spoilers

and second it would probably have to be addressed why in ATC the ghosts look so much different from the ghosts in the originals. Of course the designs in GBII are ever so slightly different from the first one that it could be suggested that the ghosts's appearance shifts depending on who summons them.

Nice work

[GBfan_CH]

Just read it, and thought it was really good! Nice job connecting the originals and ATC together, it felt quite natural. Two things came to mind reading it though,

first being that they discussed how crossing the streams would be bad in ATC (at least in the extended cut, where they actually did cross them,)

This Post Contains Spoilers

and second it would probably have to be addressed why in ATC the ghosts look so much different from the ghosts in the originals. Of course the designs in GBII are ever so slightly different from the first one that it could be suggested that the ghosts's appearance shifts depending on who summons them.

Nice work

Thanks. I think I burned my bridges with Ghost Corps as they took to ignoring my requests for attention. There were probably a thousand people pitching an idea of their own. If anyone knows another way to get hold of someone connected without proper representation, do share. My mind is totally blank.

[Sav C]

Thanks. I think I burned my bridges with Ghost Corps as they took to ignoring my requests for attention. There were probably a thousand people pitching an idea of their own. If anyone knows another way to get hold of someone connected without proper representation, do share. My mind is totally blank.

Well that's too bad. I don't have any other suggestions to get a hold of them, but if I think of something I'll send it your way.