CUT TO:
INT. MANHATTAN MUSEUM OF ART - SECURITY DESK - DAY
The Ghostbusters commercial is playing on a portable TV on the security
desk. Rudy, the Security Guard, is reading a National Enquirer with a
giant front-page headline: GHOSTBUSTERS SAVE JUDGE. Venkman enters.
VENKMAN
I'm looking for Dana Barrett.
SECURITY GUARD
Room 304 -- Restorations.
(recognizing him)
Hey! Dr. Venkman -- 'World of the Psychic.'
I'm a big, big fan. That used to be one of
my two favorite shows.
VENKMAN
(flattered)
Thanks. What's the other one?
SECURITY GUARD
'Bass Masters.' It's a fishing show. Ever
see it?
VENKMAN
Yeah, really great. Take it easy.
He exits.
INT. MUSEUM - RESTORATION STUDIO - DAY (MOMENTS LATER)
Dana is working on a valuable Flemish still-life by Ver Meer. Janosz is
at the other end of the room, still working on the painting of Vigo.
Venkman enters and sneaks up behind Dana.
VENKMAN
(looking at the Ver Meer)
So this is what you do, huh?
DANA
(glad to see him)
Oh, hello, Peter.
VENKMAN
You're really good, you know.
DANA
I didn't paint it. I'm just cleaning it.
It's an original Ver Meer. It's worth about
ten million dollars.
VIGO
He turns his head and watches Venkman and Dana.
VENKMAN
Unaware that he's being watched, Venkman squints at the still life,
holding up his thumb like he's seen artists do.
VENKMAN
You know you can go to Art World and get
these huge sofa-size paintings for about
forty-five bucks.
He starts looking around at the other artwork in the studio.
DANA
I'm sure you didn't come here just to talk
about art.
VENKMAN
As a matter of fact, I stopped by to tell
you that I haven't forgotten your problem
and that we're still on the case.
They are interrupted by the sudden appearance of Janosz.
JANOSZ
(smiling at Venkman)
Dana, aren't you going to introduce me to
your friend?
DANA
Oh, I'm sorry. This is Peter Venkman.
Peter, Janosz Poha.
Venkman warily shakes his hand, trying to size him up.
JANOSZ
(avoiding his gaze)
Pleasure to meet you. I've seen you on
television.
VENKMAN
How are you?
(looking over at the Vigo
painting)
What's that you're working on, Johnny?
Janosz winces at the nickname but lets it go. Venkman and Dana cross to
the Vigo painting. Janosz steps protectively in front of it.
JANOSZ
It's a painting I'm restoring for the new
Byzantine exhibition. It's a self-portrait
of Prince Vigo, the Carpathian. He ruled
most of Carpathia and Moldavia in the 17th
Century.
VENKMAN
(staring at the painting)
Too bad for the Moldavians.
JANOSZ
(defensive)
He was a very powerful magician. A genius
in many ways and quite a skilled painter.
DANA
He was also a lunatic and a genocidal madman.
I hate this painting. I've felt very
uncomfortable since they brought it up from
storage.
VENKMAN
Yeah, it's not the kind of thing you'd want
to hang in the rec room. You know what it
needs?
(picking up a brush)
A fluffy little white kitten in the corner.
Venkman reaches toward the painting, but Janosz grabs his hand.
JANOSZ
(with forced good will)
We don't go around altering valuable
paintings, Dr. Venkman.
VENKMAN
Well, I'd make an exception in this case if
I were you.
Dana looks disapprovingly at Venkman.
VENKMAN
(to Janosz)
I'll let you get back to it. Nice meeting
you.
JANOSZ
My pleasure.
Venkman and Dana cross back to her workspace.
VENKMAN
(confidentially)
I may be wrong, but I think you've got a
little crush on this guy.
DANA
Good-bye, Peter.
VENKMAN
(dragging his feet)
I'd like to stay, but I really don't have
time to hang around here. I'll call you.
(calls out to Janosz)
Later, Johnny!
He exits.
VIGO
Vigo turns his head and follows Dana as she returns to her workbench.
DANA
She stops, vaguely aware of the movement, and looks up curiously at the
painting. As she starts to walk on, Vigo looks at her again, but Dana
turns suddenly and catches the movement. Frightened now, she hastily
leaves the studio.
CUT TO:
INT. FIREHOUSE - LIVING QUARTERS - CONTINUOUS ACTION - DAY
Venkman and Winston enter and find Stantz and Spengler at work in the lab
area.
STANTZ
Oh good, you're here. Spengler and I have
something really amazing to show you.
VENKMAN
(to Spengler)
It's not that thing you do with your
nostrils, is it?
Stantz goes to the refrigerator, opens the freezer, rummages around among
the TV dinners and frozen pizza and pulls out a slime specimen in a
Tupperware container.
STANTZ
(to Venkman)
We've been studying the stuff that we took
from the subway tunnel.
He pops the specimen jar in the microwave and lets it thaw for a minute.
VENKMAN
And now you're going to eat it?
STANTZ
No, I'm just restoring it to its normal state.
He takes the specimen out of the microwave and pours some of it into a
large Petri dish.
STANTZ
Now watch this.
He leans over the specimen and starts shouting at it.
STANTZ
(simulating anger)
You worthless piece of slime!!
(as the slime starts to
twitch and glow)
You ignorant disgusting blob!!
SPECIMEN
It bubbles and swells, changing color with each insult.
STANTZ
You foul, obnoxious muck!!
STANTZ
He continues venting his rage on the slime.
STANTZ
I've seen some real crud in my time, but
you're a chemical disgrace!!
The specimen doubles its size and starts spilling over the rim of the
Petri dish.
STANTZ AND SPENGLER
They turn to Venkman for his reaction. He's dumbfounded.
VENKMAN
This is what you do with your spare time?
STANTZ
(very excited)
This is an incredible breakthrough, Venkman.
A psychoreactive substance! Whatever this
is, it clearly responds to human emotional
states.
VENKMAN
'Mood slime.' We ought to bottle this stuff
and sell it.
SPENGLER
We've found it at every event site we've
been to lately.
WINSTON
(poking at the slime)
You mean this stuff actually feeds on 'bad
vibes'?
STANTZ
Like a goat on garbage.
STANTZ
We're running tests to see if we can get an
equally strong positive reaction.
VENKMAN
What kind of tests?
STANTZ
(a little embarrassed)
Well, we sing to it, we talk to it, we say
supportive, nurturing things --
VENKMAN
You're not sleeping with this stuff, are you?
Spengler reacts as if he might be.
STANTZ
It really responds to music.
(to Spengler)
Let's calm it down.
Spengler picks up a guitar and he and Stantz start singing "Cumbaya" to
the slime specimen.
SPECIMEN
It stops bubbling and starts to shrink.
WINSTON
Does it have any favorites?
STANTZ
It likes all the sappy stuff: 'Cumbaya,'
'Everything is Beautiful,' 'It's a Small
World' -- but it loves Jackie Wilson.
Venkman and Winston watch intently as Spengler spoons some of the
psych-reactive slime onto an old toaster.
STANTZ
Watch this.
Stantz turns on a CASSETTE PLAYER and Jackie Wilson's "HIGHER AND HIGHER"
BLASTS from the speakers.
TOASTER
It shakes, spins and actually starts moving in time with the MUSIC.
VENKMAN
He stares in disbelief at the dancing toaster as it shoots two pieces of
toast into the air and catches them without missing a beat.
VENKMAN
I don't care what you say. This could be a
major Christmas gift item.
WINSTON
Right, and the first time someone gets mad,
their toaster will eat their hand.
VENKMAN
So we'll put a warning on the label.
Stantz turns OFF the MUSIC and the toaster stops moving. Venkman looks
at the toaster and sticks his fingers in the slot.
VENKMAN
(to the toaster)
Go ahead. I dare you.
Suddenly, he yelps as if the toaster has actually bitten into his hand
and won't let go. The others jump in to help him, but Venkman laughs and
easily withdraws his hand.
VENKMAN
Just kidding.
CUT TO:
INT. DANA'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Dana brings Oscar into the bathroom and lays him on the bassinet. She's
wearing a robe over her nightgown, preparing to bathe the baby. She
turns the taps on the old claw-footed bathtub, checks the water
temperature, then turns away and starts to undress the baby.
DANA
(talking sweetly to the
baby)
Look at you. I think we got more food on
your shirt than we got in your mouth.
BATHTUB
The water pouring from the faucet changes to slime and settles at the
bottom of the tub. Dana reaches over and turns off the water without
looking into the tub. When she turns away, both taps start to spin by
themselves and the tub flexes and bulges.
DANA
Still unaware, she routinely reaches over and squirts some bubble bath
into the tub.
BATHTUB
The rim of the tub puckers up and the sides convulse as if swallowing the
bubble bath.
DANA
She picks the baby up off the bassinet and turns to place him in the tub.
She is just about to lower him into the water when the tub starts to
close up around the baby like a hugh mouth. Dana screams, snatches the
baby away and runs from the room clutching Oscar to her bosom as the
bathtub convulses and vomits up buckets of slime.
CUT TO:
INT. VENKMAN'S LOFT - SAME NIGHT (LATER)
The big open loft space is a chaotic clutter of mismatched furniture, old
magazines, books, tapes, and sports equipment. Venkman is asleep on the
floor, still wearing his coat, scarf, hat and gloves, having collapsed
just short of the bedroom. The DOORBELL RINGS, he wakes up, lumbers to
his feet and answers it. He opens the door and sees Dana standing there.
She is wearing only a nightgown under her coat and Oscar is naked,
wrapped in a baby blanket.
DANA
(somewhat embarrassed to
be there)
I'm sorry. Were you on your way out?
VENKMAN
(surprised to see her)
No, I just got in -- a couple hours ago.
Come on in.
(noting her apparel)
Are we having a pajama party?
DANA
(upset)
Peter, the bathtub tried to eat Oscar.
Venkman looks at her for a long moment.
VENKMAN
You know, if anyone else told me that, I'd
have serious doubts. But coming from you,
I can't honestly say I'm surprised.
DANA
I must be losing my mind. At the museum
today I could have sworn that terrible
painting of Vigo looked right at me.
VENKMAN
Who could blame him? Were you wearing this
nightgown?
DANA
(distraught)
I don't know what to do anymore.
VENKMAN
I'll get Ray and Egon to check out the
bathtub. You better stay here.
He exits to the bathroom. She looks around the loft, amazed at the
disorder. Venkman comes back immediately with an old sweatshirt and
takes Oscar from her.
VENKMAN
Now this kid has a serious nudity problem.
He spreads the sweatshirt out on the sofa, lays the baby on it and starts
tying it around him like a diaper.
VENKMAN
(to the baby)
This is Joe Namath's old number, you know.
You could get a lot of chicks with this.
Just don't pee in it.
DANA
Peter, what about the bathtub?
VENKMAN
(grabs the phone and dials)
We'll take care of that.
(on the phone)
Ray, Pete. Listen, get over to Dana's right
away ... Her bathtub pulled a fast one --
tried to eat the kid.
DANA
It was full of this awful pink ooze.
VENKMAN
(to Ray)
Sounds like another slime job ... No,
they're all right. They're here now ...
Right ... Let me know.
He hangs up.
VENKMAN
They're going over there right now. You
might as well make yourself at home. Let
me show you around.
(he crosses to the kitchen area)
This is the cuisine de maison --
It's an incredible mess. The sink is piled high with dirty dishes and the
counters are littered with all sorts of food trash. He grabs a big open
Hefty bag on the floor and starts throwing garbage into it.
VENKMAN
(looking at the sink)
We may have to wash some of these if you get
hungry --
(he looks in the fridge)
-- but there's no food anyway so forget
about it. I have all kinds of carry-out
menus if you feel like ordering.
He opens a drawer full of pizza, barbecue and Chinese food menus, then
crosses to the bathroom.
VENKMAN
Bathroom's right here -- let me just tidy
up a few things.
DANA
Peter, this is very nice, but you don't have
to do any of this, you know.
He goes into the bathroom and we hear WATER RUNNING, the TOILET FLUSHING
and more items going into the Hefty bag.
VENKMAN (O.S.)
The shower works but it's a little tricky.
They're both marked "Hot." It takes a little
practice, but at least this one won't try
and eat you.
He comes out of the bathroom with the now-loaded Hefty bag over his
shoulder.
VENKMAN
Be careful on that sofa -- it's a butt-biter.
But the bed's good and I just changed the
sheets so if you get tired, feel free. In
fact, I think you should definitely plan on
spending the night here.
DANA
Really? And how would we handle the sleeping
arrangements?
VENKMAN
For me it's best if I sleep on my side and
you spoon up right behind me with your arms
around me. If we go the other way I'm
afraid your hair will be getting in my face
all night.
DANA
How about you on the sofa and me in bed with
the baby.
VENKMAN
Or we could do that.
DANA
Thank you.
(she picks up Oscar)
Poor baby. I think I should put him down
now.
VENKMAN
I'll put him down for you.
(taking the baby)
You are way too short! And your belly-button
sticks out! You're nothing but a burden to
your poor mother!
Venkman carries the baby into the bedroom leaving Dana in the living
room, feeling more relaxed and a lot safer.
|
