- December 10th, 2023, 1:43 am#4989191
As the title says, I went ahead and wrote my own version of Ghostbusters 3. It’s a first draft.
I’m curious to get some feedback on it.
It takes inspirations from a lot of different sources. You’ll see some major winks and nods to Extreme Ghostbusters. The opening scene is inspired by the pilots opening scene. The plot is very different. I even have a few little Easter eggs.
What I’ll do is I’ll copy/past the opening scene here. If enough people show interest I’ll create a link for people to read it. Or you can PM me.
So here’s the first scene. Hope you dig it. This is a passing of the torch movie with mostly new characters.
*****************************
Ghostbusters III
Written By RichardLess
First Draft
Fade in
EXT New York City Skyline-Morning
A bustling metropolis that never sleeps is gearing up for a new day. We descend from a GODS EYE VIEW of DOWNTOWN Manhattan all the way down to street level where torn up concrete, pylons and busy construction workers digging & moving mounds of earth fill the frame.
EXT New York City Street Level—Day
Annoyed New York commuters honk at the nuisance of a closed lane way on a hot New York City morning. A large sign facing the flow of diverted traffic reads: “Coming 2012 The 118th Street Subway expansion. Brought To You By Mayor Walter Peck & New York City Public Works. Mayor Peck: Promises Made, Promises Kept”
A picture of the honourable Mayor giving a “Thumbs Up” is looked with distain by a taxi driver caught in the hell of early morning bumper to bumper traffic
Taxi Driver(off the sign of Mayor Peck):
What an asshole.
We descend further into the construction hole dug by workers and enter the subterranean realm. A worker dressed to the nines in safety gear rides down a make shift elevator shaft 20 feet below the surface
INT Subway Construction Site-Day
The rickety elevator reaches the floor, the worker wears a name tag identifying him as Reggie, Reggie raises the elevator safety gate & starts making his way down into an empty cavernous tunnel
hallway.
We can hear drills, saws and the busy work of construction crew just out of sight as the hall leads all the way down to a sharp 90 degree left hand turn. It’s hot, cramped and steamy. The feeling is ominous.
Crudely hung Overhead lights flicker as Reggie makes his way down the tunnel corridor, following rows of cables, pipes & discarded tools. We keep following Reggie as he reaches the sharp 90 degree corner. As he rounds the corner we see what see sees;
Dozens of Men loading a large drill bit onto a large horizontal rig at the very end of the tunnel. Reggie passes a discarded drill bit on the dirt floor.
In a CU we note half of the drill bit is melted and smoking.
As Reggie gets closer to the drilling a cold breeze gently blows against him causing Reggie to shiver.
The workers all face the same direction, backs turned to us and Reggie.
Reggie taps a worker on the shoulder, this is the foreman, Jerry, the foreman jumps, startled by Reggie’s presence.
Jerry
Jee-Zuss .Don’t come up on people like that. Scared the beejesus out of me
Reggie(loud over the noises):
Boss wants to know what the hold up is, can’t reach you on the walkie
Foreman:
You see that?
He motions to the melted drill bit
Reggie:
What the…
(Reggie bends down to quickly examine the bit)
Foreman:
21 Years on the job. I ain’t never seen nothing like that. That’s a diamond encrusted bit. You tell ‘em that
Reggie: (sniffing the air)
What’s that smell?
Foreman:
We duno. We were drilling into rock wall, got about 37 feet. Then that happened. I figure it’s the bit giving off the smell? Either that or toxic fumes
Off Reggie’s concerned look
Foreman
Ha! Just pulling your chain kid. It’s gotta be the bit
Reggie:
Alright. I’ll tell ‘em. Christ it’s freezing over here!
Foreman:
An hour ago it was 103 in here. Now it’s 41. Strangest damn thing I eva saw. You got ear protection? This bitch is loud when we start her back up
Reggie: (over the loud sound)
WHAT!?!
Foreman points to his ears. Reggie gives an enthusiastic thumbs up
Reggie:
Oh Yeah.
Reggie motions to his large headphones connected to a MP3 player.
The foreman gives a sign to the drill operator to restart the drill. We just start to hear the loud motorized cacophony of gears, hydraulics & pistons coming to life.
Reggie puts on his noise canceling headphones, blocking out the noise for him and us. Reggie selects a tune on his MP3 player. Reggie turns & starts making his way back to the elevator & surface.
The sounds of Billie Jean by Michael Jackson come over the sound track. This song will play over the following sequence which plays in one long completely unbroken take:
Facing the camera we see Reggie begin his trek back to the surface in a wide LONG SHOT. We see what’s happening behind him as the workmen get smaller in the distance. Reggie starts to conservatively strut to the music as a self conscious person might.
Just as Reggie rounds the corner WE SEE an unnatural gaseous Green light emanate from the drilling area, the green glow strobes on the cavernous dirt embankment walls behind Reggie, who’s completely oblivious.
Now that he’s around the bend and out of their view Reggie’s struts are turning into a walking dance just as Dozens of construction hard hats fly behind him at tremendous speed & force. The hard hats CRASH into the dirt embankment with such force they become embedded in the wall
Reggie, still in his own little world of Billie Jean, starts lip singing, using his unlit flashlight as an impromptu microphone. He’s in full on dance/strut mode now. Shaking his hips, tapping his toes and walking like he owns the place.
As Reggie silently performs to the chorus, a panicked Jerry has just rounded the 90 degrees corner 10 feet behind Reggie. We can just make out the terror on his face as Jerry is violently pulled to the ground by an unseen force attempting to drag him back around the corner. Jerry desperately grips the dirt embankment wall with one hand and the dirt floor with the other, holding on for dear life
(This should remind us of Jurassic Park with the worker being pulled into the Raptor cage, only with Michael Jackson instead of John Williams)
.
As Reggie dances the foreman is tossed like a rag doll violently up against 10 foot ceiling and back down to the ground, back up to the ceiling back to the ground. Finally Jerry is yanked violently out of sight
, leaving only his claw marks in the dirt as evidence of the struggle.
Jerry disappears from view just as Reggie does a 360 degree twirl, sashay’s to the side, twirls another 180 degrees & with his back to us, moonwalks a good 6 feet finally spinning back around to face us. Reggie has moves!
Suddenly all the lights and power go out in the underground hallway. We are In complete darkness except for the dim light on Reggie’s hard hat light. Reggie kills the music on his MP3 player & removes his headphones. It’s complete silence. We can’t even hear the traffic above. Reggie Turns on the flashlight/former improvised microphone, his hands shaking as he scans his surroundings
Reggie(startled)
Hello?
Silence
Reggie
Yo! Everything ok? Guys?
Reggie hears something move behind him, he quickly turns but there’s nothing & nobody.
Reggie(meekly)
Jerry? You there man?
We hear nothing. We see only what’s illuminated by Reggie’s hard hat light and flashlight. It’s quiet as a tomb.
Reggie slowly makes his way back towards the 90 degree turn and the drill area. Reggie’s terrified. His hand still shakes as he reaches for the walkie-talkie clipped to his belt. He unclips the walkie talkie and speaks into it
Reggie:
We have a code 9 down at the site. Someone flip the generators! Now! Please. Over.
Nothing but Static.
Reggie starts to repeat his transmission
Suddenly a hauntingly unnatural voice starts coming thru.
Voice
Hheeellppp me
Reggie
Hello? Repeat transmission, over
An Ungodly, inhuman sounding SCREAM EMANATES from the walkie-talkie. As the green glow around the corner returns. The scream builds and builds until the walkie talkie EXPLODES in Reggie’s hand, completely disintegrating. The light on his hard hat now fades in & out. Reggie smacks his hand against it. It dims to a low light then fades out completely.
The only light that remains comes from the handheld flash light and the green glow beyond the corner
Reggie’s at the 90 degree corner threshold. A deep guttural rumble is heard as the unnatural ethereal green glow beckons. Strange disturbing sounds start to fill the air. Children laughing, giggling, the laugh turns deeper and more menacing, then a young girl with a blood curdling scream is heard. Finally a monstrously primal, evil roar silences all.
Reggie
If this is a prank I swear…
As we adjust to the darkness we can see Reggie’s breath it’s now so cold.
Reggie gathers his strength. Still at the threshold of the corner
Reggie(Soto)
Ok. Reggie, you got this. On 3
Reggie swallows and begins to count
Reggie(nervous, unsure)
1….?
A slight breeze blows Reggie’s clothing
Reggie(stuttering)
2…2….2?
The green light starts strobing violently. Faster and faster as deep rumbling growing louder and louder with a gaseous vapour cloud filling the air
Reggie manages to get the first syllable of “3” out when his body is YANKED FORWARD HARD just as huge blast of AIR blows his hard hat clean off. His flashlight and MP3 player/headphones fall to the ground. Reggie’s screams echo in the complete darkness. A monstrous roar is heard as Reggie’s terrified screams fade off into the distance. The gaseous vapour quickly retreats back the way it came as the green glow flickers on and off and finally dies off completely.
The underground lighting flicks back on as we faintly hear the New York City traffic far above us for the first time. All is back to seemingly normal.
A CU of The hard hat as its light flickers on the dirt floor illuminating the discarded headphones
We start to make out music from the head phones lying on the ground. It sounds familiar…(Ray Parker Jr’s Ghostbusters theme song)
The music starts diegetic over the headphones, mono & tinny sounding until it builds and fills the entire soundscape with the hard hat light beam, hitting the noise canceling Bose headphones which when mixed with the shadows of worker equipment creates a shadow on the dirt wall that just barely, for a moment, looks like it forms some sort of Rorschach “No Ghost” logo.
The “Ghostbusters” theme song really kicks in now and the animated logo takes over from the shadow & fills up the screen. The camera reverse zooms back down the hallway, up the elevator shaft and back up to the gods eye view of New York City. 3 Rusty Metal Bars slowly lower over the No Ghost Logo which forms the Roman numeral III. The Rusty bars stop as they are perfectly centred over the logo. The Mooglie ghost grips the metallic Roman numerals as if they formed prison bars.
The soundtrack and picture fade out as we cut
I’m curious to get some feedback on it.
It takes inspirations from a lot of different sources. You’ll see some major winks and nods to Extreme Ghostbusters. The opening scene is inspired by the pilots opening scene. The plot is very different. I even have a few little Easter eggs.
What I’ll do is I’ll copy/past the opening scene here. If enough people show interest I’ll create a link for people to read it. Or you can PM me.
So here’s the first scene. Hope you dig it. This is a passing of the torch movie with mostly new characters.
*****************************
Ghostbusters III
Written By RichardLess
First Draft
Fade in
EXT New York City Skyline-Morning
A bustling metropolis that never sleeps is gearing up for a new day. We descend from a GODS EYE VIEW of DOWNTOWN Manhattan all the way down to street level where torn up concrete, pylons and busy construction workers digging & moving mounds of earth fill the frame.
EXT New York City Street Level—Day
Annoyed New York commuters honk at the nuisance of a closed lane way on a hot New York City morning. A large sign facing the flow of diverted traffic reads: “Coming 2012 The 118th Street Subway expansion. Brought To You By Mayor Walter Peck & New York City Public Works. Mayor Peck: Promises Made, Promises Kept”
A picture of the honourable Mayor giving a “Thumbs Up” is looked with distain by a taxi driver caught in the hell of early morning bumper to bumper traffic
Taxi Driver(off the sign of Mayor Peck):
What an asshole.
We descend further into the construction hole dug by workers and enter the subterranean realm. A worker dressed to the nines in safety gear rides down a make shift elevator shaft 20 feet below the surface
INT Subway Construction Site-Day
The rickety elevator reaches the floor, the worker wears a name tag identifying him as Reggie, Reggie raises the elevator safety gate & starts making his way down into an empty cavernous tunnel
hallway.
We can hear drills, saws and the busy work of construction crew just out of sight as the hall leads all the way down to a sharp 90 degree left hand turn. It’s hot, cramped and steamy. The feeling is ominous.
Crudely hung Overhead lights flicker as Reggie makes his way down the tunnel corridor, following rows of cables, pipes & discarded tools. We keep following Reggie as he reaches the sharp 90 degree corner. As he rounds the corner we see what see sees;
Dozens of Men loading a large drill bit onto a large horizontal rig at the very end of the tunnel. Reggie passes a discarded drill bit on the dirt floor.
In a CU we note half of the drill bit is melted and smoking.
As Reggie gets closer to the drilling a cold breeze gently blows against him causing Reggie to shiver.
The workers all face the same direction, backs turned to us and Reggie.
Reggie taps a worker on the shoulder, this is the foreman, Jerry, the foreman jumps, startled by Reggie’s presence.
Jerry
Jee-Zuss .Don’t come up on people like that. Scared the beejesus out of me
Reggie(loud over the noises):
Boss wants to know what the hold up is, can’t reach you on the walkie
Foreman:
You see that?
He motions to the melted drill bit
Reggie:
What the…
(Reggie bends down to quickly examine the bit)
Foreman:
21 Years on the job. I ain’t never seen nothing like that. That’s a diamond encrusted bit. You tell ‘em that
Reggie: (sniffing the air)
What’s that smell?
Foreman:
We duno. We were drilling into rock wall, got about 37 feet. Then that happened. I figure it’s the bit giving off the smell? Either that or toxic fumes
Off Reggie’s concerned look
Foreman
Ha! Just pulling your chain kid. It’s gotta be the bit
Reggie:
Alright. I’ll tell ‘em. Christ it’s freezing over here!
Foreman:
An hour ago it was 103 in here. Now it’s 41. Strangest damn thing I eva saw. You got ear protection? This bitch is loud when we start her back up
Reggie: (over the loud sound)
WHAT!?!
Foreman points to his ears. Reggie gives an enthusiastic thumbs up
Reggie:
Oh Yeah.
Reggie motions to his large headphones connected to a MP3 player.
The foreman gives a sign to the drill operator to restart the drill. We just start to hear the loud motorized cacophony of gears, hydraulics & pistons coming to life.
Reggie puts on his noise canceling headphones, blocking out the noise for him and us. Reggie selects a tune on his MP3 player. Reggie turns & starts making his way back to the elevator & surface.
The sounds of Billie Jean by Michael Jackson come over the sound track. This song will play over the following sequence which plays in one long completely unbroken take:
Facing the camera we see Reggie begin his trek back to the surface in a wide LONG SHOT. We see what’s happening behind him as the workmen get smaller in the distance. Reggie starts to conservatively strut to the music as a self conscious person might.
Just as Reggie rounds the corner WE SEE an unnatural gaseous Green light emanate from the drilling area, the green glow strobes on the cavernous dirt embankment walls behind Reggie, who’s completely oblivious.
Now that he’s around the bend and out of their view Reggie’s struts are turning into a walking dance just as Dozens of construction hard hats fly behind him at tremendous speed & force. The hard hats CRASH into the dirt embankment with such force they become embedded in the wall
Reggie, still in his own little world of Billie Jean, starts lip singing, using his unlit flashlight as an impromptu microphone. He’s in full on dance/strut mode now. Shaking his hips, tapping his toes and walking like he owns the place.
As Reggie silently performs to the chorus, a panicked Jerry has just rounded the 90 degrees corner 10 feet behind Reggie. We can just make out the terror on his face as Jerry is violently pulled to the ground by an unseen force attempting to drag him back around the corner. Jerry desperately grips the dirt embankment wall with one hand and the dirt floor with the other, holding on for dear life
(This should remind us of Jurassic Park with the worker being pulled into the Raptor cage, only with Michael Jackson instead of John Williams)
.
As Reggie dances the foreman is tossed like a rag doll violently up against 10 foot ceiling and back down to the ground, back up to the ceiling back to the ground. Finally Jerry is yanked violently out of sight
, leaving only his claw marks in the dirt as evidence of the struggle.
Jerry disappears from view just as Reggie does a 360 degree twirl, sashay’s to the side, twirls another 180 degrees & with his back to us, moonwalks a good 6 feet finally spinning back around to face us. Reggie has moves!
Suddenly all the lights and power go out in the underground hallway. We are In complete darkness except for the dim light on Reggie’s hard hat light. Reggie kills the music on his MP3 player & removes his headphones. It’s complete silence. We can’t even hear the traffic above. Reggie Turns on the flashlight/former improvised microphone, his hands shaking as he scans his surroundings
Reggie(startled)
Hello?
Silence
Reggie
Yo! Everything ok? Guys?
Reggie hears something move behind him, he quickly turns but there’s nothing & nobody.
Reggie(meekly)
Jerry? You there man?
We hear nothing. We see only what’s illuminated by Reggie’s hard hat light and flashlight. It’s quiet as a tomb.
Reggie slowly makes his way back towards the 90 degree turn and the drill area. Reggie’s terrified. His hand still shakes as he reaches for the walkie-talkie clipped to his belt. He unclips the walkie talkie and speaks into it
Reggie:
We have a code 9 down at the site. Someone flip the generators! Now! Please. Over.
Nothing but Static.
Reggie starts to repeat his transmission
Suddenly a hauntingly unnatural voice starts coming thru.
Voice
Hheeellppp me
Reggie
Hello? Repeat transmission, over
An Ungodly, inhuman sounding SCREAM EMANATES from the walkie-talkie. As the green glow around the corner returns. The scream builds and builds until the walkie talkie EXPLODES in Reggie’s hand, completely disintegrating. The light on his hard hat now fades in & out. Reggie smacks his hand against it. It dims to a low light then fades out completely.
The only light that remains comes from the handheld flash light and the green glow beyond the corner
Reggie’s at the 90 degree corner threshold. A deep guttural rumble is heard as the unnatural ethereal green glow beckons. Strange disturbing sounds start to fill the air. Children laughing, giggling, the laugh turns deeper and more menacing, then a young girl with a blood curdling scream is heard. Finally a monstrously primal, evil roar silences all.
Reggie
If this is a prank I swear…
As we adjust to the darkness we can see Reggie’s breath it’s now so cold.
Reggie gathers his strength. Still at the threshold of the corner
Reggie(Soto)
Ok. Reggie, you got this. On 3
Reggie swallows and begins to count
Reggie(nervous, unsure)
1….?
A slight breeze blows Reggie’s clothing
Reggie(stuttering)
2…2….2?
The green light starts strobing violently. Faster and faster as deep rumbling growing louder and louder with a gaseous vapour cloud filling the air
Reggie manages to get the first syllable of “3” out when his body is YANKED FORWARD HARD just as huge blast of AIR blows his hard hat clean off. His flashlight and MP3 player/headphones fall to the ground. Reggie’s screams echo in the complete darkness. A monstrous roar is heard as Reggie’s terrified screams fade off into the distance. The gaseous vapour quickly retreats back the way it came as the green glow flickers on and off and finally dies off completely.
The underground lighting flicks back on as we faintly hear the New York City traffic far above us for the first time. All is back to seemingly normal.
A CU of The hard hat as its light flickers on the dirt floor illuminating the discarded headphones
We start to make out music from the head phones lying on the ground. It sounds familiar…(Ray Parker Jr’s Ghostbusters theme song)
The music starts diegetic over the headphones, mono & tinny sounding until it builds and fills the entire soundscape with the hard hat light beam, hitting the noise canceling Bose headphones which when mixed with the shadows of worker equipment creates a shadow on the dirt wall that just barely, for a moment, looks like it forms some sort of Rorschach “No Ghost” logo.
The “Ghostbusters” theme song really kicks in now and the animated logo takes over from the shadow & fills up the screen. The camera reverse zooms back down the hallway, up the elevator shaft and back up to the gods eye view of New York City. 3 Rusty Metal Bars slowly lower over the No Ghost Logo which forms the Roman numeral III. The Rusty bars stop as they are perfectly centred over the logo. The Mooglie ghost grips the metallic Roman numerals as if they formed prison bars.
The soundtrack and picture fade out as we cut
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